Necessary Evil: Being Prepared for the Emergency Room
Adventurers and sports enthusiasts (the kind who participate, not spectate) know that sooner or later their testosterone-filled and fueled shenanigans are going to require medical attention. Climbers fall, skiers tear ACLs, snowboarders bump and bounce their heads, mountain bikers endo, and kayakers, if they’re not careful, slam into or bounce off rocks. And all the preparation, carefulness, padding, and helmets in the online outdoor gear world cannot save you from the inevitable accident that comes from living the life of a rad weekend warrior. It is with this inevitability in mind that Trail’s Edge proffers up some advice on how to make the most of your emergency room visit, whatever your reasons for visiting. (Note: the author of this post offers lifestyle advice, not medical advice. If your injury by adventure results in a life-threatening emergency, call 911.)
Go sooner than later
It’s a day or two after the injury and the scariest thing you have to do that day is get out of bed. Instead of playing martyr or tough guy, realize that your body is sending you the signal that no, everything is not OK. Resist the urge to walk it off, soldier. Your avoiding the limp or the ache or the searing pain will only result in exacerbation, pain in other parts of the body, or a ruptured something or other. Get thee to a doctor before you injure yourself further when doing something quotidian and seemingly innocuous such as taking out the garbage.
Write down pertinent phone numbers
Remembering phone numbers is soooo 1990s. No problem. Just bring that fancy phone of yours. But smartphones have the shelf-life of neptunium, and they’re bound to die out after the eleventh round of Angry Birds or Words with Friends. Rather than clutter your mind with silly emergency contact numbers, write them down in the moleskin notebook you keep for such emergencies.
Get a ride
All the single ladies and gents: do not drive yourself to the hospital. First, the amount of pain you’re in means you’re Mayhem on the road. Second, you have no idea how long you’re going to be in the ER, and if Ace bandages are $18, imagine how much parking will run. Call in a favor to someone in your inner circle who can escort you to wellness. Check the bus schedules and take some change in case you need a ride home and no one’s available. Write down all the possible routes home in that moleskin of yours.
Leave the fancy electronic equipment safely at home
Emergency rooms are stressful places: just look at your blood pressure reading at check-in. Doctors and nurse practitioners hand out pain suppressants like Halloween candy, and these neuron killers can mar ability to keep track of your stuff. Vicodin impairs, son. Now I’m not saying thieves are roaming the sanitized hallways of your favorite ER, but it’s better to be safe than to have your netbook, Kindle, iPad, or iPod stolen AND your leg splinted in the same day. That would be a total bummer, dude.
Just say no to drugs
With respect to painkillers, stave off taking them as long as your warrior self will allow. Sure, they deliver a light-headedness only gin martinis can rival, but if you still need to make important decisions related to your health, pills or IV pushes are not the answer. Take the pills or accept the pain medication when you only have one more health-related decision to make that day.
Bring a picnic
Hospital vending machines include the most popular food group, Doritos, but little else. Bringing simple, non-perishable, non-greasy foods can make your half-day stay in the ER feel like a picnic, only with scary white medical walls. Improve your experience by bringing foods that add to your well-being instead of subtract. Some author favorites: oranges (helps with hydration, too!), crackers, Clif Bars, and dark chocolate, which has anti-oxidants. Don’t forget at least a liter of water.
Outsource your scripts
Hospital pharmacies are not the place to get your prescriptions filled. Grocery chains are a less expensive alternative, and you can pick up some $1.99 DVDs while you’re there. You’re going to need them for the recovery.
Broken arm photo by justsomedust
Leg cast photo by Bill Sandifer
