How to Drop Your Outdoorsiness into Any Conversation

It can be tough, being an experienced, outdoorsy person brimming with scars, stories, and survival skills. When you’re as bad-ass as you are, it’s easy to be under appreciated.  How many times has this happened to you: you come home from a river expedition or a month long trek or a climbing trip in South America. You’re tanned and buff and obviously you’ve just done something really impressive.  So you go out with your friends ready to steal the show and….nobody really asks you about it. They’re all just busy talking about their own non-impressive lives or- worse- their own recent adventures. What do you do then? Don’t you wish there was a graceful way for you to hijack the conversation and turn the spotlight onto your own stunning self? Well guess what- there is!  Many social situations offer ample opportunities for you to naturally drop your outdoorsiness into the conversation. Here are just a few.

Coffee Break You’re visiting a home of a friend, who generously offers you a cup of coffee.
Generous Friend: Do you take cream or milk?
You: Oh, gosh, is it powdered milk by chance?
Generous Friend: Um….no…
You: That’s too bad. I got really into drinking powdered milk when I was trekking in New Zealand. It was so convenient. We put it in everything. It’s so light, and I was out there for….geez, I don’t even remember….twenty days? Twenty days of trekking, if you can imagine. It was surreal, so so challenging but also just…life changing. You know?  Pushing my limits in the outdoors is what I’m all about. So now I actually prefer powdered milk over normal milk.
Generous Friend: ….so, you just want it black, then?

Back Yard BBQ You’ve been invited to a backyard BBQ with some brand new friends. Someone offers you cold beer.
New Friend’s Wife: Here, let me get a bottle opener for  you
You: You know what, I can use my belt buckle. (Successfully open bottle.)
New Friends: Appreciative Murmurs
You: Yeah, that sure came in handy when I was down in Potrero Chico, Mexico. Nothing like a cold Cerveza at the end of a long day of climbing, am I right? Especially in that hot sun! Dang! I tell you, it just does not get any hotter than being eleven pitches up in the Mexican heat. (Take a drink.) Of course, Ecuador’s worse. It’s got the humidity.

Boat Rental You and a friend are renting a canoe for a pleasant summer’s day on the lake.
Boat Rental Person: ….and here are your lifejackets.
You: You mean PFDs.
Boat Rental Person: Sure…
You: Technically, they’re not lifackets. They won’t save your life. I have friend who is the head of the most popular PFD brand, Astral, and he’ll get mad at you if you say lifejacket.
Boat Rental Person: Alright. Here’s your PFD.
You: I actually brought my own. It’s  rescue vest.  I’m swift water rescue trained.

Out with Friends
You’re out with friends at a crowded bar. You’ve just returned to civilization after a month paddling the grand canyon.

Friends: blah blah blah
You: Hey, what the hell. I just got back from paddling the Grand Canyon. The Grand F**king canyon. I was down there for a month. I got frostbite and heat stroke. I am incredibly hard core. What is your problem that you’re not asking me about it? Oh, God, you know what? Forget it. JUST FORGET IT. (Storm out.)