Approach Outdoor Hotties after Checking Yourself First

So you’ve spotted a buff, bronzed and beautiful girl or guy after executing a complicated climbing maneuver or while trekking through the mountainous regions of some exotic locale. Before you approach, you probably want to make sure that days away from a mirror and running water haven’t left you in a state that will have him or her running for the woods – even though both of you are already there. These tips will help you make sure that your body is exuding irresistible charm, and not something much less pleasant.

Your Face
As humans, we tend to notice each other’s faces before anything else (although certain parts of the female anatomy can disrupt this normal pattern). Which means one of the fastest ways to turn someone off is by having a face covered with sweat rivulets wending their way through caked-on trail dirt. No one is going to expect you to have that just-washed shine when you’re hiking or backpacking, but that doesn’t mean you can’t discretely whip out a wet wipe before introducing yourself.

Your Hands
Unless you’ve lived in a cave all your life (and if you have, congratulations on getting wireless set up so you can read this), you’ll know that people often introduce themselves by shaking hands. The least you can do if you’ve just relieved yourself behind a tree or if you’ve been through a muddy spot is to wipe your hand off before it comes in contact with the digits of your sexy target.

Your Overall Hygiene
You can imagine that people used to smell pretty bad before regular bathing became a requirement of modern society, so now it can be quite noticeable when someone hasn’t cleaned him or herself in a while. Don’t be that guy (or girl). Because it’s difficult to smell yourself, you might want to ask a close friend to give you a visual look-over and a sniff test before you put your heart on the line.

Your Gear
Maybe your friends think that the My Little Pony tied to your backpack for luck is funny, or maybe they think it’s weird. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re your friends and they’re willing to share a tent with you even if you get sprayed by a skunk (or at least help you set up a bivouac nearby). Strangers are much more likely to use snap judgments to assess your character. It might be better to hide your oversized hunting knife in your pack until you get to know your new friend a little better.

Your Attitude
The Aphrodite in the Patagonia shirt giving you a coy look doesn’t know that your tent ended up with six inches of water in it last night. Likewise, the Adonis flexing his muscles as he explains the best way to get to the summit might not want to hear about your “spirit quest.” Social interactions in the wild really aren’t that different than ones that occur in other settings. When you’re meeting someone for the first time, be friendly, be nice, hold off on complaining, and try not to mention too many quirks until the object of your affection is firmly tied up in your web of seduction.

Image sources: Flickr, Flickr, and Flickr.